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What Is The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic In Relationships? Therapists Explain

Delmaine Donson/E+/Getty ImagesHave you ever brought up an issue to your partner only to feel completely shut out? You rehearsed what you’d say a thousand times in your head, making sure you didn’t take a tone or say anything that could be misconstrued, but still they go quiet and distant. Cue the anxiety spiral for you, and suddenly you’re fighting the urge to go back downstairs and insist they say something — anything! — just to acknowledge what’s going on. If this interaction sounds familiar, that’s because it has a name: the pursuer-distancer dynamic. Relationship therapists say it’s one o...